Now that the war is winding down in Iraq [ROFL], Bush will need another invasion to maintain his popularity (and to keep our troops overseas so they will not be wandering with the hundreds of thousands of other unemployed across our own countryside). May I suggest we invade Canada.
Here are nine reasons why:
i. Won't use much oil--can be done on bicycles.
ii. Give U.S. secure borders.
iii. Eliminate potential refuge for draft dodgers, runaway slaves, and other dissidents to-be-named later.
iv. Creates more jobs (at least, while war lasts).
v. Keep focus from our own decaying domestic economy and infrastructure.
vi. Provide natural launching pad for land invasion of Europe.
vii. Provide hundreds of thousands of acres of trees, minerals, and unspoiled wilderness Bush can share with his cronies.
viii. Stop Canadians bellyaching about acid rain, over fishing by USians, ozone-layer depletion, landmines, and arm sales that are really none of their business.
ix. Fewer Canadians killed by friendly fire.