" My fellow Americans...
I realize that some of you have been thinking, what in the tarnation are we doin in Iraq. Some of you still think Iraq had something to do with 9/11. Thank you for that. Uncle Dick said I can't say it anymore, now that he has said there was no connection, but *winks* you and I know whats goin on right?
Anyway, I am concentration on the future and the war on terror. I've been strategemitizing with some army generals, and navy generals, and even some guys from the air force, and we've decided that Iraq just isn't a vitaminable target anymore...that means, its not a good idea. So, we've used a lot of top secret intelligence, stuff we got from the Russians, and the Chinese, and a guy on the ground named Sneaky Pete, and we've decided to invade Madagascar. Apparently there are a whole bunch of terrorists runnin around there, and they are escaped convicts to boot.
This is a war we can win, y'know, I lost the popular vote in my first election, and some say that if it wasn't for the judges my daddy and his boss put on the big court in the United States, that maybe I wouldn't have been president at all...but Uncle Dick fixed that, and I won the second election easy. Uncle Dick even knew how many votes I'd win by before the darn thing started! Well, I think this war will be the same way, now that I've got my feet wet, I'll be much more better effective in the next conflict, plus Uncle Donald said the place in Madagascar has a pool.
So be ready America, we're winning the war on terror, irregardless of what my detraceables say. Stay the course, and don't forget about Poland!"