How to Tell a Neoconservative

He wants to have sex with the man next to him but, unable to get it up,punches him instead.

Steps to reduce oil prices

1. Get out of Iraq and cut the defense department's consumption of oil by 75%.
2. Increase taxes on gasoline until consumers reduce consumption--note that profits from the increase will go back to the taxpayer and not to the oil companies.
3. Levy a 50% tax on all excess profits from the war.
4. Invade Saudi Arabia (who attacked us on 9/11) and take over their oil fields.

And the small fool says to push on

It was back in two thousand two,
I was a member of a good platoon.
We were on maneuvers in-a Loozianna,
One night by the light of the moon.
The captain told us to ford a river,
That's how it all begun.
We were -- knee deep in the Big Muddy,
But the big fool said to push on.


The Sergeant said, "Sir, are you sure,
This is the best way back to the base?"
"Sergeant, go on! I forded this river
'Bout a mile above this place.
It'll be a little soggy but just keep slogging.
We'll soon be on dry ground."
We were -- waist deep in the Big Muddy
And the big fool said to push on.


The Sergeant said, "Sir, with all this equipment
No man will be able to swim."
"Sergeant, don't be a Nervous Nellie,"
The Captain said to him.
"All we need is a little determination;
Men, follow me, I'll lead on."
We were -- neck deep in the Big Muddy
And the big fool said to push on.


All at once, the moon clouded over,
We heard a gurgling cry.
A few seconds later, the captain's helmet
Was all that floated by.
The Sergeant said, "Turn around men!
I'm in charge from now on."
And we just made it out of the Big Muddy
With the captain dead and gone.


We stripped and dived and found his body
Stuck in the old quicksand.
I guess he didn't know that the water was deeper
Than the place he'd once before been.
Another stream had joined the Big Muddy
'Bout a half mile from where we'd gone.
We were lucky to escape from the Big Muddy
When the big fool said to push on.


Well, I'm not going to point any moral;
I'll leave that for yourself
Maybe you're still walking, you're still talking
You'd like to keep your health.
But every time I read the papers
That old feeling comes on;
We're -- waist deep in the Big Muddy
And the big fool says to push on.


Waist deep in the Big Muddy
And the big fool says to push on.
Waist deep in the Big Muddy
And the big fool says to push on.
Waist deep! Neck deep! Soon even a
Tall man'll be over his head, we're
Waist deep in the Big Muddy!
And the big fool says to push on!


Words and music by Pete Seeger (1967)
TRO (c) 1967 Melody Trails, Inc. New York, NY
Stupidity renewed by George Bush 2002

Wouldn't it be great!

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO HEAR the U.S. PRESIDENT tell the truth?

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq, Afghanistan, and Columbia. Let the oil companies, the poppy growers, and the cocaine cartel pay for their own security forces.

All war profiteers will be tried before military tribunals. Their corporate assets will be confiscated. The corporate officers and presidents of all companies who provided defective military equipment will be tried, then shot. Their corporate assets will be confiscated.

The corporate officers and presidents of all companies who used substandard materials on government contracts will be tried, then shot. Their corporate assets will be confiscated.

All deposits of Americans and American corporations found in offshore accounts will be confiscated.

The Vice-President and I take full responsibility for the hundreds of thousands dead and disabled. We have given away all our assets and have already taken a slow-acting poison.

Thank you; without your tacit cooperation, none of this would have been possible.