Goodbye, cruel words: English. It's dead to me.

By Gene Weingarten,
Pulitzer-prize-winning author

The English language, which arose from humble Anglo-Saxon roots to become the lingua franca of 600 million people worldwide and the dominant lexicon of international discourse, is dead. It succumbed last month at the age of 1,617 after a long illness. It is survived by an ignominiously diminished form of itself.

The end came quietly on Aug. 21 on the letters page ofThe Washington Post. A reader castigated the newspaper for having written that Sasha Obama was the "youngest" daughter of the president and first lady, rather than their "younger" daughter. In so doing, however, the letter writer called the first couple the "Obama's." This, too, was published, constituting an illiterate proofreading of an illiterate criticism of an illiteracy. Moments later, already severely weakened, English died of shame.

The language's demise took few by surprise. Signs of its failing health had been evident for some time on the pages of America's daily newspapers, the flexible yet linguistically authoritative forums through which the day-to-day state of the language has traditionally been measured. Beset by the need to cut costs, and influenced by decreased public attention to grammar, punctuation and syntax in an era of unedited blogs and abbreviated instant communication, newspaper publishers have been cutting back on the use of copy editing, sometimes eliminating it entirely.

In the past year alone, as the language lay imperiled, the ironically clueless misspelling "pronounciation" has been seen in the Boston Globe, the St. Paul Pioneer Press, the Deseret Morning News, Washington Jewish Week and the Contra Costa (Calif.) Times, where it appeared in a correction that apologized for a previous mispronunciation.

On Aug. 6, the very first word of an article in the Winston-Salem (N.C.) Journal was "Alot," which the newspaper employed to estimate the number of Winston-Salemites who would be vacationing that month.

The Lewiston (Maine) Sun-Journal has written of "spading and neutering." The Miami Herald reported on someone who "eeks out a living" -- alas, not by running an amusement-park haunted house. The Fredericksburg Free Lance-Star described professional football as a "doggy dog world." The Vallejo (Calif.)Times-Herald and the South Bend (Ind.) Tribune were the two most recent papers, out of dozens, to report on the treatment of "prostrate cancer."

Observers say, however, that no development contributed more dramatically to the death of the language than the sudden and startling ubiquity of the vomitous verbal construction "reach out to" as a synonym for "call on the phone," or "attempt to contact." A jargony phrase bloated with bogus compassion -- once the province only of 12-step programs and sensitivity training seminars -- "reach out to" is now commonplace in newspapers. In the last half-year, the New York Times alone has used it more than 20 times in a number of contextually indefensible ways, including to report that the Blagojevich jury had asked the judge a question.

It was not immediately clear to what degree the English language will be mourned, or if it will be mourned at all. In the United States, English has become increasingly irrelevant, particularly among young adults. Once the most popular major at the nation's leading colleges and universities, it now often trails more pragmatic disciplines, such as economics, politics, government, and, ironically, "communications," which increasingly involves learning to write mobile-device-friendly ads for products likeCheez Doodles.

Many people interviewed for this obituary appeared unmoved by the news, including Anthony Incognito ofCrystal City, a typical man in the street.

"Between you and I," he said, "I could care less."

Moslim Contributions Needed--A Challenge

The people of Palestine need jobs desperately. We challenge Moslims around the world to establish factories in Palestine to produce basic goods and provide employment. Money talks; bullshit walks.

Million Mexican March

Join the Million Mexican March on Ciudad de Mexico this August 3rd and demand an end to government corruption and the creation of jobs so that Mexicans might live in their own country.

Tempest in a Teapot

The U.S. Constitution mandates the separation of Church and State. As marriage is a religious sacrament--a contract between humans and God, the States have no justification for marrying anybody! Though they are free to provide Civil Union Status to any couple whom State Law permits to enter into a contract.
And despite California's Proposition 8, religions remain free under the constitution to marry whomever they wish.

Defusing the conflict in the Middle East

The Middle East conflict can be readily defused if Saudi Arabia and Iran would loan or give Palestine the necessary capital with which to build up light industry. With full employment, Palestine's problems would vanish.
But, SA and Iran much prefer their divisive policy of let you and him fight, so monies that could give Palestineans a better life are wasted on weaponry.

Don't worry; be happy

Many feel threatened by the US Supreme Court Decision to give multinational corporations the same status as U.S. Citizens. But don't worry. The U.S. Defense Department is the principal customer for most of these corporations and they can't afford to offend it.

As I predicted in 2007, A right-wing military take-over(supported as was Hitler's regime by the multi-national corporations)will take place in 2011, and democracy in the US will come to an end.

Impeach Obama

o has not withdrawn troops from Iraq
o has built upa military whose cost had already bankrupted our nation
o has failed to prosecute Bush-Cheney for war crimes
o has failed to open an investigation into the roles of Bush-Cheney in permitting 9/11 attacks to go forward
o has failed to address problems with current health-care system
o has failed to create jobs!!!!
o has failed to seal our borders or develop a rational immigration policy.
He is a Republican.